Update from Calle – March 22nd
March 27, 2015
Sunday, March 22, 2015 at 07:27
Gussvattnet 247, 830 90 Gäddede, Sweden
Google Maps
0.0064, 0.0014 alt: 390m
Waxing Crescent
Friday March 20th, 2015
* 5:25pm, Mom is in the TV room watching TV. Boar and Göte are also there.
* Mom and I go in to Mom’s room.
* I have bought some food that we unpack. I haven’t had dinner.
* Mom and I make dinner. I am having Lasagna. Mom is having a toast and a glass of milk.
* We are doing the dishes together. Mom is drying and putting the dishes away. She is the best!
* We are both tired, but I ask Mom of she wants to see a movie. She does!
* After dinner and cleaning up we are watching a movie together. We are watching “Despicable Me”.
* Mom likes the movie (and so do I).
* 7:20pm, Staff comes in and wants to take Mom out for fika. Mom objects. I ask Mom if she wants to fika with me in the room. Mom wants that. The staff confirms that I am not allowed to have fika together with Mom in the dining room. Mom wants to have fika with me. The staff leaves. Mom is relieved.
* We watch another 10 min of the movie. Then I ask Mom if she wants to have fika. She does. We are pausing the movie to make fika.
* I tell Mom that I have a surprise for her. Mom is happy. She pats my cheek.
* I go to the car to pick up fresh home baked soft thin bread that Karin Andersson had baked in the afternoon and that I picked up on the way to Mom.
* We make fika. Mom helps.
* When I open the home baked fresh bread then Mom is really excited.
* Mom and I are eating the yummy bread with messmör and drinking hot chocolate.
* We keep watching the movie while we are having fika. Mom really likes the movie and she is laughing.
* Before we are done with the movie and fika the staff come in to put Mom to bed. Mom objects. Staff don’t care.
* They pull Mom away from the table. Mom clings to me for all that she is worth. She holds my hand as hard as she can ands she is terrified.
* Staff tell me too let go of Mom’s hand. I tell them that I am not holding her which they clearly can see.
* Staff uses the force she needs to break up Mom’s hand. Mom tries to grab me again, but she can’t. She is reaching after me and screaming while the staff pulls her away.
* Mom is terrified. I am being sent out of the room. I can hear Mom screaming out in the TV room.
* Staff don’t let Mom go to the toilet. They only changed diapers but don’t clean. It was an ugly smell of pee in Mom’s bed when I came back in. I’ll get back to this in a bit. Additionally, the time they were in Mom’s room would not have let her go to the bathroom doing her needs. Also, the bathroom chair was not used.
* While I was sent out Elliott and Mandi is calling me. We are talking when staff come out telling me Mom is done.
* I go in. Mom is happy to see me, but it is very clear that she is traumatized from what just happened. She is also smelling of pee. I tell Mom that I am talking to Elliott and Mandi. Mom is happy.
* Mom talks to Elliott and Mandi on the phone.
* She is happy to talk to them, but she is also scared and traumatized from what the staff did to her.
* Mom talks and she cries. Then she gives the phone back to me.
* I talk a little with Elliott and Mandi after this. Then we decide to be in touch later. We hang up.
* The pee smell is awful. I tell Mom. I investigate this a little. It comes from under the blanket. I ask Mom what to do.
* I know that the staff will not care, but she can’t lie in this smell. I also know that Mom is already traumatized from the staff’s treatment. But who can help cleaning Mom?
* I tell Mom that I will ask the staff for help. Mom is worried, but she is ok with this.
* I go to the office. I find 4 people from the staff in the office. I ask them for help and I tell them the issue. They are very rude.
* Staff do come with me to see Mom. They deny the smell of pee in Mom’s room!!! They are also extremely rude and they try to forbid me to investigate when I smell pee like this. (Well, Mom wanted me to and I think she decides. Furthermore, if she smells of pee then someone should find out why and then help her.). They staff were rude and crazy. They refused to help Mom.
* So what can I do then?
* I tell Mom that I am sorry, but that I can’t do much about it being alone and with that staff at Levinsgården. I would have needed some help. But who?
* Levinsgåden will deny the pee smell. If I try to help Mom they will accuse me for things and put Mom in worse trouble. There is no good solution as long as she is at Levinsgården.
* I stayed with Mom until she got calmer. We prayed evening prayers and I said goodnight, but I told her that I would stay and clean up. Then I did the dishes from our fika.
* When I was cleaning up and doing the dishes Mom seemed to feel good. She obviously felt good hearing me in the room. She fell asleep and slept while I was cleaning up.
* When I was done she woke up and was a bit worried. I told her that I would stay a little longer. Then she was calm again.
* I stayed with Mom for a while. She was sleeping. By 11pm I thought that I could leave.
* I kissed Mom goodnight. She looked at me and she didn’t object that I was leaving. She waved to me as I was leaving.
* I left Mom’s door open. I waited a bit in the corridor. Everything was calm. Then I left.
March 22, 2015, 13:51
Sunday, March 22, 2015 at 08:48
Gussvattnet 247, 830 90 Gäddede, Sweden
Google Maps
0.0064, 0.0014 alt: 390m
-4C Moderate snow, Humidity: 92%, Pressure: 1009.0 mbar, Wind: S at 18 km/h
Waxing Crescent
Saturday March 21st, 2015
* 12:50pm, Dad is with Mom.
* Dad is preparing for the fika with Inger and Reidar, the Norwegian friends that will come at 2pm.
* Dad tells Mom hello from Gunbritt Örjebo. Mom is not interested.
* I told Mom that I had spoken to Elliott, which she knew from the night before. That got Mom’s attention. I tell Mom hello from Elliott. She is very happy and excited.
* I ask Dad if he has talked to Kjell Söder. He tells me that he did. I ask him what the result was. After him talking about other things I ask him again. He then says that Mom is not welcome to Östersund. I ask Dad if that is what Kjell said. Dad says that Kjell has set up requirements that Mom doesn’t fulfill. Additionally, Kjell has told him that he is fully booked for the next two years. Again I asked if that really was what Kjell told him. Then Dad started to come up with other reasons to refuse Mom too go to Östersund. Among other reasons he says that Mom’s friends don’t want her to go to Östersund. I objected to that: “What kind of friends would refuse a stroke victim care?”. Additionally, Mom has many friends around the world that support her to get care and to be treated better.
* I ask Dad if Mom’s own will matters to him. It is very clear what she wants.
* Dad lines up a number of lies including that Mom needs to be here for her social interactions. However, although he lives only 200 meters away he can’t even eat the meals with Mom. Then he is the one that has requested the staff to isolate Mom at the meals and to put her to bed in the middle of the day against her will and requests to lock her in even though Mom is screaming in panic and is scared to be locked in. Then in the next sentence he claims that Mom needs to be locked in to be protected from the other residents. What kind of social interaction is that?
* There are many lies and his logic does not work. But he keeps saying that Mom doesn’t fulfill Kjell’s requirements and that Kjell doesn’t have time to help Mom.
* I ask Dad if we should call Kjell. Dad refuses. Then I ask Dad if we can let Mom go to Östersund this week to see Kjell. Dad keeps saying that Mom does not fulfill the requirements. Then I tell Dad that we should call Kjell and just ask right away when we are all there (Dad, me and Mom most importantly). Dad doesn’t want me to call Kjell, but he refuses Mom to go to Östersund referring to Kjell.
* I tell Dad that I will call Kjell and we can ask him right away. Dad objects, but I still call Kjell.
* Kjell answers the phone. He has time to talk to us.
* We put on the speaker phone so we all can hear: me, Mom and Dad. We are all sitting by the table with Mom between us. I show Mom the phone so she can see that we are talking to Kjell.
* Kjell explains the requirements and the conditions. From his point there is nothing hindering Mom to come to Östersund for an initial interview and an evaluation of what they can do to help Mom. Mom is welcome.
* I ask if we can come down with Mom this week. Mom looks happy and hopeful. Mom is part of the discussion.
* Dad takes the phone to talk to Kjell. I tell Dad to keep the phone here so Mom and I can be part of this.
* Dad comes up with ridiculous accusations that I am talking above Mom’s head regarding these decisions among other things. Then he is using this to refuse Mom to go to Östersund for treatment.
* Mom gets very upset when she listens to Dad. She hits Dad twice and she is very upset with Dad.
* Dad is angry. He leaves in the middle of the call. He takes the fika with him and he makes sure that the Norwegian friends are not coming to see Mom.
* I ask Dad “Who is talking above Mom’s head?”. Dad doesn’t reply.
* I ask Dad if he doesn’t care about what Mom want. Dad doesn’t reply.
* Dad leaves.
* I keep talking to Kjell. Mom is not very unhappy that Dad left. She keeps listening to me and Kjell talking. Sometimes she loses focus and makes sounds, but she stops when tell her that I still talk on the phone. I keep the speaker on so Mom can near everything.
* Kjell confirms that he heard Dad’s arguing and how Mom objects. He is happy that he heard what Dad said and how he refuses Mom care. He finds that unpleasant.
* Mom and I spend the afternoon together. We take a walk to Forsgården, we make fika together, we talk a bit, we listen to music and Mom sleeps a bit in her chair.
* 5:10pm, Staff comes and take Mom out for dinner. Mom wakes up. She objects. Staff doesn’t care.
* Staff put Mom alone at a table. Mom sees me when I am leaving. She sits alone at her table reaching after me.
March 22, 2015, 13:51